Wild Curves Ribbon Hoodie - only $25! SHOP HERE
  • Archives



Repulsive Rag Of The Day: Lane “Lame” Bryant Turquoise Spotted Dress

Do you love the color turquoise? Me too! Unfortunately, one of our favorite colors, the color of the Caribbean Sea (which is by the way where I am blogging from right now) has been unjustly and unforgivably oppressed in the world of fashion by none other than the foulest fascist of them all: Lane Bryant! The beauty that paints the substance that covers most of our planet has been exploited and turned into the eyesore that “that horrid store” calls a dress, hanging like the repulsive rag that it is on a hanger that has become the jewel on this display! After the appalling misuse of this aqua color, you are assaulted once again with whitehead like droppings consuming the entire surface of this ankle-length ridiculous rag. While at Lane Bryant, my eyes tried desperately to run away from this thing, but tragically were torpedoed with the out of place ruffles that hung slap in the center of the chest. For a split second my mind contemplated, “why would anyone want to play a practical joke on the piquant provocative points?” There is zero funny about our bodacious boobs looking like nothing more than pudgy tasteless pierogies without the stuffing. Even more distaste is added to this drape when they pin a bib-like looking material atop the neckline, for which there seems to be no purpose except to ugly-up their customers even further. What serves even less purpose is the seam found at the midriff and finally this disgrace – what Lane Bryant calls a “dress,” is finished off with narrow straps covering the shoulders. Please people, do not displease yourselves by wearing this or anything that sports such unattractive features for any figure!

Repulsive Rag of the Day: Lane Bryant Striped Dress

Lane Bryant Striped Rag Dress (Sizes 14-28)

Bland multi-colored long dress with horizontal stripes from top to bottom. Here is why I consider this dress utterly nasty for the curvy shape:

1- The boxed sleeveless top is all elastic like you would find on a child’s dress. What will happen to the provocative points? They will be squeezed, pushed down flat taking away any curvy alluring shape from the non-existent cleavage. To top that off, it is tied behind the neck, which means no real support whatsoever.

2- The entire dress is tube-like with unflattering shades and horizontal stripes. A fundamental error in design for plus size fashion: horizontal stripes enlarge and bulk up everything from midriff to hips to rump.

3- The material is just blah, taking away from the young, fun look we all so crave!

4- At the midpoint, the dress has slight ruffles running to the bottom. Why the drastic change in design? Why at that particular place- the middle? In my opinion that creates an illusion of the waist line being bigger than it really is, which for me is a very big “no, no”!

5- The one and only stylish part about this dress could be the colors. Unfortunately, everything else is so detrimentally unappealing that it does not even matter!

Repulsive Rags

If you’ve read my ‘About Me’ page you know that I am a writer, more specifically a journalist. Hence, I am creating this feature because fairness is foremost, even in fashion!

To be brutally honest, (no offense to anyone who enjoys shopping at these stores) I despise all of the plus size stores in this country: Lane Bryant, Catherines, Avenue, Torrid, etc. The clothing in my opinion is atrocious, wearing a potato sack would probably look better on a curvy body and feel better on our wallets as well. I have never stepped into one of these stores (except a few days ago), but just ran passed the windows in malls, been forced to drive passed billboards and blasted with advertisements while surfing the net.

A few days ago, I held my breath in horror and shame as I contemplated the unthinkable… to enter a Lane Bryant store because of my commitment to fashion fairness. How could I in all good-faith publish my opinion on clothing that I never actually touched, tried on or even looked at up close? As I asked myself this question, although knowing the answer, I took five deep breaths (like I do in Yoga), calmed my nerves and took what I thought were wide, quick steps to enter the store. When I came in I was greeted and of course that boring question was asked of me (to know what I am referring to read ‘About Me’ page)… I did not answer. I was on a mission for fashion and would not stop until I fulfilled it! I felt the walls closing in on me. Dresses hung on hangers with dotted patterns, multi-colored horizontal stripes, flowers with bland colors. White skirts with uneven hems and stars imprinted all over. Light beige pants with vertical stripes that even a camel should not wear. The material on all these items felt so grungy to the touch that it is not even worth mentioning. After all of those eyesores, I reluctantly remembered that my job was not done yet and that I needed to try some of this nasty stuff on. Grabbing a handful I ran to the dressing room. I could hear the rage in the rooms next door. Women shouting “I need another size this looks disgusting,” Why do they make the waist so small and the legs so wide?,” “Can’t they make clothes that look good!,” “I need to get out of here!”. In the middle of all of that, sobs were heard: “what will I wear to the wedding, nothing fits right.” “Why is this material bulging out like that?” “Ahhhhhhh.” I felt utter sadness because I knew exactly what they were feeling because I saw all of those same issues in the reflection staring at me while trying on those repulsive rags!

“Repulsive rags,” the title of my nasty pick of the day, was found while making my way through the madness at that horrid store!

My intent is not too, by any means, offend anyone. If you enjoy shopping at any of the above stores I mentioned, please feel free to do so and understand that this is simply a fashion blogger’s opinion. I do, however, hope that by reading my blog the women in this country, of all curvy sizes, will become more assertive in their style picks by opening their eyes and embracing their hips with the plethora of amazing European designers in the world of voluptuous fashion. Ultimately leading to confident curvy fashionistas!

Account
Apply Offers Expand offer spotlight
Reviews